I am not Henry

Lately, I’ve been getting 120% [did you know that 62.3% of statistics are made up on the spot?] more spam addressed specifically to me. At least, it would be addressed to me if my name was Henry. Which it’s not, just for clarification. It never has been. This makes me wonder how on earth my e-mail got tied to Henry. Maybe this fellow Henry signed up on a web site somewhere that guaranteed all the spam he could ever want. When he put in his e-mail address, perhaps he mistyped it by one digit. And now I’m getting all the benefits that were guaranteed to be his.

Henry, if you’re reading this, I am very sorry for all the great deals you’ve been missing out on, all the long-lost Nigerian relatives wanting to contact you, the pills you can buy to make every possible aspect of your life better. Why, just today, you received an offer to work with Craigslist. Chance of lifetime and you never even knew about it. Tough break, man.