Tuesday, May 26, 2009


(I wrote this sitting at a basketball practice, but forgot about it until now.)

I have the utmost respect for little league coaches, basketball in particular. Right now, I’m sitting on a basketball court watching Carlos and his team practice. Ever tried to herd cats? Piece of cake compared to teaching little league sports. Here’s a play-by-play report of Carlos’ practice time:

Everybody is standing around the middle circle learning about the tip-off. The two guys in the center are listening attentively. Everybody else? One little guy is dancing around the circle. There’s another one picking his nose looking at some kids over the corner. Two others are having some kind of arm wrestling match in the air. So of course, the coaches have to get everyone’s attention (again) and repeat what they just said. Repeat this for every. single. different. activity. (and sometimes multiple times for the same one).

“No, hey, Nick, when the other team has the ball, you have to come down this end of the court!”

“Hey guys, you need to listen. Hold the ball, please. No, hold it, don’t pass it around and dribble it.”

“Donny, if you have your hands in your pockets, you can’t catch the ball.”

“Guys, stay in your positions. If everyone is in the same place, you can’t help each other out.”

“Donny, we’re playing basketball, not tag”

“Brian, you’re on the other team!”

“Carlos, where’s your man? Stay with your man.”

“Donny! Donny! Donny!!”

Respect. These coaches have mine.

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